Final Re-Write and Commentary by Nina Tapu

Introduction or the 'Overture' to the film of 'Gone With The Wind' and an excerpt from the film.

There was a land of cavaliers and cotton fields called the old south. Here in this pretty world gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of knights and their ladies fair. Of master and of slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered. A civilization gone with the wind.

 

Prissy: Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vittles.
Scarlett: You can take it all back to the kitchen; I won't eat a bite.
Mammy: Yes'm you is, you's gonna eat every mouthful of this.
Scarlett: No... I'm... NOT.

 

Scarlett: Atlanta!

Mammy: Savannah would be better for ya. You'd just get in trouble in Atlanta.

Scarlett: What trouble are you talking about?

Mammy: You know what trouble I's talkin' 'bout. I's talking 'bout Mr. Ashley Wilkes. He'll be comin' to Atlanta when he gets his leave, and you sittin' there waitin' for him, just like a spider. He belongs to Miss Melanie...

Scarlett: You go pack my things like Mother said.

 

Link of a '60 Minutes' segment on 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' and an excerpt from the book.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7369826n

 

Huck Finn: [Jim appears wearing a silly African costume and looks disgusted] What in hell's bells are you supposed to be?

Jim: The King said I was a Swahili warrior. He even taught me some Swahili or what he said was Swahili. Sounded like a pig in heat to me.

 

Excerpt from film of 'Driving Miss Daisy'

Hoke Colburn: Hey, there, Oscar, Junior... how you boys doin' this morning?

Oscar: How the old lady treatin' you, Hoke?

Hoke Colburn: Lord, I tell you one thing... she sho' do know how to throw a fit!

[Hoke, Oscar, and Junior break out in laughter]

Daisy Werthan: What's so funny?

Hoke Colburn: Nothin', Miss Daisy. We jus' carryin' on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REWRITE

Dialogue between Mammy, Hoke and Jim

Characters:

Mammy - female black maid of Southern belle 'Scarlett O'Hara' from the film 'Gone with the Wind'

Hoke Colburn - elderly black Chauffeur of wealthy Jewish, southern widow 'Daisy Werthan' from the film 'Driving Miss Daisy'

Jim - black runaway slave and friend of 'Huckleberry Finn' from 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn'





Setting: A sticky Sunday afternoon. The local church bells chimes the end of the service, a Preacher man flings open the door and streams of black folk exit their sanctuary - a small run down wooden building with a single front-door and two glass-less windows. Chipped paint but ivory white. 3 familiar figures linger on the church steps garnering the end of the summers day and ponder the subtlies of times passed.

Hoke: Good afternoon Mammy, hot enough for ya?

Mammy: Hotter than a possum on a tin roof Mr Colburn.

Jim: Not even the Devil himself could take that sorta heat!

All: (laugh)

Mammy: (to Hoke) You still driving Miss Daisy?

Hoke: Till the good Lord say so...

Jim: Mista Colburn folk say she mean ole lady... got you runnin roun like you back in the field..

Mammy: Not me not Miss Scarlett, not no-body gonna get Mammy runnin roun like she some chicken withouta head.

Jim: thas right Miss Mammy...

Hoke: Y'all need to stop talking and start listening...carrying on tripping on your own tongues. The only thang running round here is black folks mouths.

Mammy and Jim: (miffed)

Hoke: Yes I drive Miss Daisy because I'm her Chauffeur. I drive, I got a car, I got a job. I get paid. Sounds like this chickens seized alot for somethings that's got no head.

Jim: Ohh Mr Colburn we didn't mean nothing by it.

Mammy: Hoke we was just concerned in all.

Hoke: I appreciate y'all worrying but since when did worries do anyone any good? Can you feed someone or clothe somebody with worry. Can you pay for something with worry? Worry warrants nothing and I aint about to give it the profits of my time.
Jim: Preacher couldnta sermoned any betta... right outta the good Book...the book of Hoke...
Mammy: sure thing right after the Book of Judas. You is sounden more biblical soon enough you Moses, Abraham and Miss Daisy got more in common.

Jim: Money.

Hoke: Say what Jim?

Jim: thats wot I had the same as Ms Watson, Nigger Traders, The King, Duke even Huck.

Mammy: Suns' burning up your mind fool come sit.

Jim: Ms Watson she wanted to sell me, Nigger Traders sniffed around ta buy. The King and Duke got da price on my head and Huck well he was always troubled by the cost o Abolition.

Eight hund'd dollars.

Mammy: You here now Jim not eight hund'd less or eight hund'd more.

Jim: Free.

Hoke: How bout you Mammy? Why'd you stay on in Tara -  the price of Emancipation not high enough for ya?

Mammy: Emanca what? That high convoluted word is same as chitterlings - waste. The white mans guilt and anyone white or black buying into that nonsense is eating slop. I dont need no Act, no Yankee doodle-dandee fighting their guilt ova me. When the good Lord breathed He exhaled and mammy was and is the same, today, tomorrow, yesterday and yonder

Hoke: Miss Scarlett lost 2 husbands, 1 child and she gone and done murder to save Tara and she ended up seedling, toiling, hungry and poor. Almost losing her mind practically a negroe herself.

Jim: At least i ran Miss Mammy, I ran no-body own me, I's hungry and thirsty but no-body owned Jim no more

Mammy: Niggers got no business judging . You hungry,barefoot and lawless no better than some wild animal. The King dress you up like some crazy African promise to take care of ya and you blind to his plan. And Mr Hoke driving old Jewish lady in fancy car like like you own it, "Yes Miss Daisy, No Miss Daisy". Drive each other straight to the promise land?

Miss Scarlett spilt blood for Tara and if that mean she negroe-like then thats my reign. 

Our tears, our blood, both runs deep into this earth and Tara stands.

 

 

COMMENTARY

I began my Re-Write by showing examples of dialogue from the films 'Gone with the Wind', 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' and 'Driving Miss Daisy'. This was to demonstrate the types of conversations the characters Mammy, Jim and Hoke had with their owners/employers or confidants. It was also to show the nature of their relationship with the protagonists in these stories and to depict the representation of their characters.

 

Although I have only presented a snippet of their dialogue I will explain more fully how these representations can result in misleading the audience to not realising the full potential of the secondary characters.



 

I've chosen 2 classic American texts 'Gone with the Wind' and 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' adapted to film and a popular play 'Driving Miss Daisy' also adapted to film because these texts have enjoyed such incredible success with overwhelming universal appeal. I question the popularity with a postcolonial view because although these Black/African-American characters were depicted with a fighting spirit to maintain their dignity - they still came across as only being able to achieve this at the expense of being subordinate, loyal and long suffering to their white counterparts.

 

They are painted/presented as sympathetic characters at the mercy of their Slave owners/Employers and friends. Mammy is feisty and matronly, Hoke is loyal and Jim is protective They are positive in so far as how their 'characteristics' can benefit the leading characters in these different texts. They also exist to offer some kind of moral compass to their superiors.

 

The black characters are utilised as the vehicle for their white owners/employers/friends to find solace and redemption through their 'exotic' confidant. The 'alien' friend or 'other' who represents a foreign world subjected to the position of slave/subsordinate within the natural order.

 

They are not part of the 'ruling class' and their own marginalised existence is exploited to educate the estabishment of the inequalities within race and power.

 

These groups are stymatised by their race, gender, class and education. Their attempts for a voice is silenced by the sacrifices they must make to maintain their dignity, to achieve an income and to survive expulsion and escape death.

The impositions placed upon them are to benefit those in power and to maintain a stronghold of physical, social and cultural domination. The silenced voice becomes a mechanism for survival but it was to the detriment of their sanity and spirit.

 

In the re-write of my dialogue between these 3 characters I wanted to reveal what they really thought of the lives they've lead under the rule or influence of their white owners/employers and confidants. I wanted to expose 3 characters who were more independent, stronger and not as complacent and tolerant of their superiors and circumstances as they were originally depicted. I wanted to show their talents and gifts as individuals and not portray their positive attributes in relation to how it would serve or benefit their masters.

 

I also wanted to depict how  attempts to portray subordinate characters positively can end up generalising those very same groups. All three characters are depicted to endure their mistreatment and accept the harsh realities of their circumstances. However I wanted to show through my re-write of their dialogue that these characters were not passive and not accepting of societies conditions. They were more strategic in their efforts to withstand cultural appropriations forged upon them.

I didn't want to re-work this so far as to create a romanticized world where the roles are reversed and power and position are transferred from the coloniser to the colonised. I chose to depict secondary characters who were aware of how society pereceived them but chose not to succumb to those ideologies by making a stand in their own way. Their stance or position may not have been understood or received by their superiors or peers but they committed acts of defiance which served themselves. 

 

Through this re-write I hope that I have given a more realistic portrayal of characters whose 'humanity' should have been re-written to show their legacy as courageous and resilient individuals who resisted and fought oppressive circumstances on their own terms and not via alienating forces that pre-determined their fate. 

References

Filmograhpy
Fleming, Victor. Gone with the Wind, Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer USA, 1936
Beresford, Bruce. Driving Miss Daisy, Warner Bros USA, 1989
Sommers, Stephen. The Adventures of Huck Finn, USA, 1993

Bibliograhphy
Mitchell, Margaret. Gone with the Wind, Macmillan Publishers, USA, 1939
Twain, Mark. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Chatto & Windus/Charles L Webster & Company, UK + Canada 1884, USA 1885


 

Re-write: Quest for Lost Heroes by David Gemmell  

Chareos rode along the hillside, observing his once short lived home of Dreanan, but that was a life time ago. Chareos was sent from his home at Dros Delnoch when he was only eight. He stilled remembering leaving as if it were yesterday, the screams of people as the Nadir entered the city; killing everyone in their path. Chereos and his mother were sent with a small squadron of guard to the Dreanan capital, as he left he waved goodbye to his father, the Earl of Dros Delnoch who would not leave the fortress that was entrusted to his family, Chareos knew that would be the last time that he would see his father. Dros Delnoch fell a few days later.

Chareos didn’t spend long in the capital before the Nadir reached it. He and his mother fled again, to where Chareos didn’t know nor would he ever as they were attacked on their journey by a Nadir scouting party. Chareos lost his mother during the attack. The few guards that survived took him in a new direction. By the time Chareos was ten he had found a new home in Gothir.

As Chareos turned back towards the city he noticed a cloud of smoke rising from a near by village. He made a quick detour and rode toward the village; about a five minute hard ride away. As he rode he came up to a group of soldier, he recognised the captain; Logar.

‘Logar, I believe the nearby village is under attack!’ Logar moved right up to Chareos’ horse, which instinctually backed off away from the approaching man.

‘Mind your own business’ Logar ordered. Confused; Chareos continued.

‘The village needs your help, they wont be able to defend themselves’ Chareos argued. Logar just ignored the remark, turning away and leading his horse back on route. ‘Damn you’ Chareos swore at the man as he rode off to aid the villge.

Chareos drew his sabre as he made his way towards the nearest Nadir. The Nadir turned, noticing the sound of hooves approaching. As the Nadir readied to strike Chareos dismounted his horse easily, he was not afraid of man to man combat being strong in the art from years of training. Chareos let the Nadir raider take a few blows before he eyed an opening in the Nadir’s defences. The next time the Nadir made a swing from the right Chareos thrust his sword into the Nadirs belly. The Nadir soldier fell and although Chareos knew he would survive the wound, he was out of the battle so he moved on to the next Nadir raider. The battle didn’t last long before the raiders got what they wanted; people to enslave.

Chareos looked around the attacked village seeing what demage was done until a young man walked up to Chareos ‘What are you waiting for? Go after them! They took 11 of our women’ the man cried out to Chareos.

‘I can’t…’

‘You can... you have a horse! Ride after them!’ Chareos decided to take a different approach.

‘Yes I could ride after them,’ he admitted. ‘But they but they would greatly outnumber me. I would surely be killed.’

‘What? Will no one help us? You won’t. The Earl didn’t...’ the villager bellowed.

‘Well I am one man and the Earl mustn’t have been able to muster his men in time,’ Chareos did not mention the Earl’s troops on the other side of the forest so to protect the Earl’s rreputation. As for Logar, Chareos would report him to the Earl for not doing his duty as a soldier to protect the weak and innocent.

‘He did! We warned him of the attack three days ago. He’s done nothing to protect us!’

‘You knew about the attack three days ago?’ asked Chareos.

‘Yes, and we warned the Earl as soon as we found out’ Chareos was taken aback by the statement. The Earl wouldn’t have left his people to be attacked like this, without the protection of trained and armed soldiers.

‘How did you know of the attack?’ he demanded.

‘We have a seer in town…..’

 ‘I have to go’ Chareos said as he moved away from the young villager towards his horse.  

As Chareos moved away from the villager the villager asked ‘Are you going to save those that were taken?’

‘No’ replied Chareos as he mounted his horse.

As Chareos rode pass the villager, the villager shouted out ‘COWARD’. Chareos didn’t have time to turn back and deal with the insult, he had more inportant things to do.

Chareos rode towards the city. He had to speak to the Earl immediately about the situation.

Logar had sold out the Earl’s people probably for a fist full of gold. Chareos had known the Earl for many years, they met upon the Earl seeking Chareos’ expertise with the sword. Chareos and the Earl became quite close friends during the training, the Earl even invited Chareos to sit on his council, aiding the Earl in his decisions about the state.

Charoes continued to serve the Earl for years, they fended off Nadir raids together. Chareos knew Logar wouldn’t get away with this betrayal. Or would he? Logar is the Earl’s champion and  captain of the guards, if he didn’t want to go down he could put up a bit of a fight; which the Earl wouldn’t want to be in public; nor would Chareos for Logar was a cruel man who fought without honour, kicking his opponent when they were down, showing off his skill with the blade and toying with his opponent when most of them were untrained citizens on trial (by combat). No, Logar would not go down easily and he would take out as many citizens as he could.

Chareos made his way to the keep where he knew the Earl would be as it was late afternoon and the Earl held public judgement. Chareos made his way around the back of the keep to allow him to approach the Earl easier than moving through the large crowd that had gathered to the Earl to settle differences.

Chareos waited for the Earl to pass judgement on a noble man and farmer. The farmer claimed that the noble asked to buy a cow of his for a feast the noble men had. The noble man promised to pay a quarter up front and the rest upon receiving the cow from the butcher however the noble man only payed for half the cow and refused to pay for the rest. The Earl sided in favor of the farmer saying that the price was fair and the noble should pay, he also fined the noble man for his cruelty and trying to rob a poor farmer.

Once the Earl made the decision; Chareos moved beside him. ‘My Lord, I have a matter of great urgency to dicuss with you’ he whispered.

‘It can wait,’ the Earl dismissed Chareos, who just moved back behind the Earl to wait until he was ready to listen.

Chareos waited for near an hour for the Earl to finish passing judgement when the young man from the village came storming in the keep ‘MY LORD’ he was calling, guards went to stop him. He managed to get passed them and ran up to the Earl; ‘My lord, our village was attacked!’ the guards managed to restrain him now.

‘Let him go’ the Earl said.

‘I am Kiall, my Lord. I’m from a village about an hours ride north of here. Our village was attacked! Several of our men were killed and 11 women were taken. You didn’t protect us, when we needed your help!’

the Earl stood up ‘I’m sorry for your village’s loss but there is nothing I can do about it now.’

‘There is, you can send soldiers to retrieve our women who were taken.’

‘I cant by now they would be in Nadir lands...’

‘YOU CAN STILL GO AFTER THEM’ Kiall roared.

‘No, I cant. If my men are caught in Nadir land then we risk war with the Nadir. A war we have no hope of winning. Would you have me risk hundreds of lives to save 11 women?’

‘Well you could have protected them in the first place. What are we paying you taxes for if you don’t protect us?’

‘I had no way of knowing your village was going to be attacked...’

‘No way? You had no way of knowing? I came here three days ago warning you of the ATTACK!’

‘And you had no proof.’

‘Our village seer saw the attack.’

‘Seers get things wrong’ the Earl said, as he did Chareos saw the Earl’s seer shake his head. ‘I could not risk removing soldiers from the city, for we could have been attacked as well’ the Earl contined.

‘Damn you!’ Kiall swore at the Earl ‘Damn you, you bloody coward!’

‘Arrest him’ the Earl cried. The guards ran to grab Kiall who put up a fight. Once the guards restrained Kiall the Earl said ‘Take him to the square and have him whipped!’

‘Yes sir’ replied one of the guards before he and the others forced Kiall out of the keep.

‘That is enough for the day’ the Earl said furious, he hated being questioned like that by someone of a lower station, even more so in public.

After the Earl dismissed his council and the keep was clearing Chareos walked to the Earl’s Seer. ‘May I talk to you?’ he asked. The seer nodded briefly. ‘Did you see the attack on the village?’

‘I did. The Earl knew about it as well and he knew the Nadir raiders would attack the city, he’s making up excuses.’

‘To protect Logar?’

‘No himself.’

‘What did he do?’

‘The Earl sent troops with his most beloved champion to watch the raid and to collect payment.’

‘What? Do you mean that the Earl sold these people to the Nadir?’

‘Yes, I do.’

Chareos pushed open the doors to the Earl’s chamber, where he found the Earl and Logar talking. ‘My lord I must talk you to!’ Chareos roared.

‘Not now’ replied the Earl.

‘Yes NOW!’ Chareos roared louder.

‘Do you want me to take care of him, my lord?’ asked Logar as he drew his sabre.

Before the Earl could answer Chareos spoke ‘Is it true you sold your own people to the Nadir?’

‘It is, Master Chareos’ was all the Earl replied with.

Logar moved towards Chareos who readyed himself for an attack.

‘Stop’ ordered the Earl ‘Logar leave us!’ Logar obeyed the Earl and left the room, once he was gone Chareos relaxed himself from the thought of an attack. ‘What is it that you want Chareos?’

‘I want to know why you betrayed your people for these barbarians?’

‘Why it was for gold.’

‘I helped you, trained your men! And this is how you repay me by aiding the Nadir! Letting them slaughter your people! The people you swore to protect!’

‘I had no other choice… I was given the choice between letting them ride in and take slaves as they want or risk full scale war with the Nadir. Gothir is small and weak, look at your people, look at the Dreanai, back fifty; seventy years ago they were considered the greatest race in the world. Now look at them; the ones that died in the fight with the Nadir were the lucky ones. The ones that didn’t or were too cowardly to fight are now slaves; cleaning up the shit of them Nadir bastards! DREANAN IS DEAD. So don’t call me a coward, I sacrafice a hundred to save thousands, would you have me go to war against the Nadir? Gothir would lose, we don’t stand a hope against these barbarians.’   

There was a long pause between the two men until Chareos responded with ‘You are a coward. Dreanan may be dead but at least we had the courage to stand and fight to save our people from the terror and horror that Nadir bring with them. Gothir deserves a better Earl than you.’

The Earl didn’t take the insult well, responding with ‘get out of my sight worthless maggot. In fact get out of Gothir, if I ever see you again I will have you hung!’

‘So be it’ Chareos left the Earl without bowing, heading to the grand doors to the keep. Chareos couldn’t work for the Earl training his soldiers now that he knew the Earl was selling his own people to the Nadir but he could not help but feel the Earl may have been right. But is it better to sacrifice a hundred doomed to be slaves, raped and beaten than to allow that fate on the whole population of Gothir? But still it is the Earl’s job to protect and watch over his  people.

Once Chareos left the keep he made his way to the city square where he knew the villager Kiall would have been whipped. The Earl had done wrong to Kiall and his fellow villagers. Chareos felt as if Kiall didn’t desevre to be punished for the way he spoke to the Earl for he was speaking the turth.

As Chareos neared the town square he could hear the sound of the whip. He ran up to the man doing the whipping, ‘that’s enough’ Chareos told the man.

‘My orders were to whip ‘em...’

‘What ‘til he bled to death? Look at him he’s near ready to pass out!’

‘He insulted the Earl, he deserves to die.’

‘Only because he didn’t want to know the truth!’

‘Well I get my orders from the Earl, and he said to whip ‘em’ the man was about to make another whip but Chareos managed to stop him.

‘Stop it NOW!’ Chareos demanded.

‘Fine, take ‘em’ and Kiall was set free. However Chareos had to help him walk, the marks on his back were quite deep.

‘Thank you’ Kiall thanked Chareos.

The sun was setting as Chareos and Kiall left the city. It wasn’t long before Charoes realised that they wouldn’t made to to the village before dark so he decided to made camp. He set Kiall down while he started to made a fire.

The two men sat in silence for a long time until Kiall said ‘They took her. They took my Ravenna from me.’

‘Who was she?’ Chareos asked.

‘She’s the woman I’m going to marry.’

That’s why he wants every one to go and save the woman, Chareos thought.

‘I’m going to go after them! I’m going to save her!’ Kiall continued ‘you’re some kind of great warrior arent you?’

‘I am.’

‘Then you can help me?’

‘What to save your woman?’

‘Yea, I wont be able to do it by myself’ Kiall cried.

‘I will have to think about it’ replied Chareos.

Chareos though more about what the Earl said, he thought about the home he left when he was much, much younger and thought would his father do the same if he had the choice? Chareos reflected on what sort of Early he might have become if his home had not been lost.

I would defend my people Chareos said in his head before pushing the thought out of his mind.  

Later that night Kiall went up to Chareos ‘So will you help me?’

‘Yes, I will help you’ Chareos replied.

Commentary:

In the story by David Gemmell; Chareos is quite calm. He doesn’t think about his home land of Dreanan he thinks it’s best to forget what is lost and get on with life. Because of this approach to life; even though the Nadir attacked his home land and killed his family he does not hold a grudge. He is more focussed on preventing further ills occuring than gaining revenge. As I was reading Fanon (1995) I got my idea for my re-write from the following sentence “Hot headed with anger in their hearts, relentlessly determined to renew contact once more with the oldest and most pre-colonial springs of life of their people”.  My idea was to change Chareos to feel resentent to the Nadir for what they had done to his home land and his family. I wanted to write the story from the begining and work through the story from the attack on the village and Chareos and Kiall (the main character in the David Gemmell book) meeting. I was then planning on them going on to rescue Ravenna in which they enter what was once Dreanan. I was going to show as Said points out “the relationship between the Occident and the Orient is a relationship of power, of domination” which I was going to show how the Nadir treat the Dreani, now that they conquer them. This would reinforce the new feelings I was adding to the character of Chareos.

I tried to keep detail to the minimum as I wanted to keep the same feel as Gemmell’s novels have and they are quite a fast pace so I left out some descriptions that I normally would have added. However, I did find myself adding in detail (which I do with my own writing) in places where it wasn’t before. I had to achieve a balance between my own writing style and the fast pace captured by David Gemmell which make his books so appealing to me.

Reference

Said, E. (1995). Orientalism. In B. Ashcroft, G. Griffiths & H. Tiffine (Eds.) The Post-

Colonial Studies Reader (p.87-91). London: Routledge.

Fanon, F. (1995). National Culture. In B. Ashcroft, G. Griffiths & H. Tiffine (Eds.) The Post-

Colonial Studies Reader (p.153-157). London: Routledge.

Thank you!

Thanks to everyone for posting your Re-writes :)

Final Re-Write and Commentary

Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad (As rewritten by Max Beard)

One

“Initially, they had terrified us. We first heard of them when three fishermen returned from the riverbank. They ran, clambering over each other, towards the house of Duna, our great uncle. Later I heard that they had spoken of a beast on the water; a great otherworldly thing made of rock and teeth. It had shrieked warning at them. Two of the warriors, Azubuike and Tapiwa, had almost immediately gathered their armour and weapons and were dispatched to the riverbanks to investigate the claims further.

“In their absence, fear spread through the village like a hungry flame. Stories were swapped for descriptions of the beast, even though none involved had witnessed it in person. Nevertheless, one could feel something ominous in the air. A strange devil had reared its head here and surely there would be grave consequence.

“’Calm yourselves for we have not yet ascertained the nature or intention of the beast’ Duna had called. ‘There is work to be done and we cannot afford to fret over what may be but a minor folly’. The villagers had taken heed and stepped back into their respective routines. It was not over though; whispers of the beast could still be heard in the village’s motionless corners. Workers exchanged worried glances as they went on with their tasks. An unspoken but universally recognised concern had descended on the village that day, and not one man woman or child was free from it.

“Duna had gathered council inside the meeting house. Among those he spoke with was Ramla, the eldest woman in our village. Ever since her youth in ages long past she had been able to foretell coming events. Heeding her advice, Duna had been able to steer the village away from famine and war. Along with Duna and Ramla, Kalisha was also in attendance that day. Kalisha was a powerful witch, a kind soul, beloved by all of the children. Daktari was there too, the old healer. The last man in attendance was the warrior Abrafo, a man who knew the smell of evil better than anyone. The five souls sat huddled, speaking in quiet tones, their heads low and their gaze fixated purely on whoever spoke.

“Standing outside the meeting house was Kamau, son of Abrafo. Kamau too was a warrior, there to keep guard. Malaika also stood outside. She was a beautiful young witch and apprentice of Kalisha, whom Ramla had predicted would one day possess great power.  Although I had no right to approach and ask questions, my curiosity had the better of me.

‘Malaika’ I said quietly. ‘What will become of us?’

‘Silence, boy. They will hear you. And this business doesn’t yet concern you.’

‘But I am worried’ I pleaded, ‘for the village, for our family.’

‘We are all worried. Please, Cudjo, leave us be. You cannot help us here. Soon we will go to Baobab for guidance, and when we have devised a course of action I personally will seek your assistance. Be patient.’ There was a warmth and openness to Malaika that was at once maternally comforting, yet her beauty was equal parts hypnotizing and terrifying.

‘I will be waiting. Good luck to you Malaika.’ With that I returned to my house and waited.”

Two

“It was not too much later that Tapiwa returned. Alone. The entire village gathered around as he spoke to Duna. ‘We found the beast, and it was not alone. There were many more. I saw pale men climb down from the backs of the beasts. Azubuike suggested that these beasts were vessels for those men; he saw fire in their bellies. He has stayed to keep watch, while I have returned to gather more warriors.’ The crowd murmured and shuffled, uneasy.

‘Who are the pale men?’ Duna asked.

‘What do they want?’ someone else called.

‘I do not know. They are pale not only in appearance, but also in spirit. Many of these men are soulless and small, but they must not be underestimated. They are setting up camp and we must watch them to discern what it is they have come for and prepare in the event that what they have come for is us.’

“From there the entire village erupted into preparation. Each soul knew the job that they must do. Warriors mobilized into two groups; one led by Tapiwa to take the charge and return to Azubuike’s position, the other led by Abrafo to hold and defend the village from potential attack. Weapons were prepared by the armoury, farmers prepared provisions for the outgoing warriors. A drum beat was struck up, and a great performance of an ancient protection rite began. I was not a part of these proceedings; instead I listened to the drum and the chants and felt the tingling magic in my bones, as one does in these moments. I was on the edge of the village, watching as Kamau, Kalisha and Malaika ascended the hills into the wilderness to consult Baobab. I let them travel a safe distance before I grabbed my staff and followed behind, carefully, quietly.”

Three

“Kamau lead the two women through the forest along a makeshift passage that seemed to open at your approach and grow over as you passed. This journey turned out to be quite a long one, and at times I thought that Kamau was aware of my lingering presence, though at no point did he acknowledge my hiding out of sight in the thick of the green.

“Finally, we approached Baobab as a new day began. It was the first time I had beheld the Tree of Life with my own eyes, and it was beautiful. As wide as ten men at his trunk, taller than twenty at his peak, his snake-like branches spreading up, out and back down towards earth again. Daktari had once told us that Baobab was modest, and pointed his branches down so as not to overshadow the rest of the forest. Daktari also said that a man could live for one thousand years on only one of Baobab’s fruit per season, and that Baobab’s bark could be woven into fireproof fabric.  Daktari said in his youth he had seen a dead man resurrected when Baobab reached out and touched him. Standing there in his shadow I believed every word, the Tree of Life was sacred, and I felt naked and ashamed to be there in that way – hiding from my own kin. The three stood in front of Baobab, bowing in respect. Kalisha signalled for Malaika to proceed, and in doing so she walked toward the mighty trunk and placed her hand flat on the bark. The bark seemed to move as it rotated her hand inside the trunk. It sounds impossible, I know, but I saw. She reached inside of Baobab, and in turn, Baobab reached inside of her.”

                Four

Later I would hear of other events that had occurred while I was with Baobab. Down at the riverbank, Tapiwa and his men finally reached Azubuike, who had been staking out the new camp from just inside the tree line. The warriors had approached Azubuike and spread out with perfect silence. Azubuike told the rest that the pale men had lazed about while shackled men from downriver set up the camp. The shackled were defeated; their indignation at capture had now dissolved, leaving only mindless workers resigned to their fate of labour at the hands of the pale men. The warriors looked on, disgusted. It was then that they caught their first sight of Olumide.

“He’d strolled over from the river like he’d just walked right off of the water. He was pale, yet there was something much more to him; much deeper, and there was something in that depth that rendered his paleness irrelevant. He spoke to the lazy Pales with disdain, and exuded a compassion for our shackled cousins. The strangest thing though, although he spoke English, which was to us, at the time, completely alien, that voice of his reverberated inside all, and the meaning of his words was not lost on Azubuike and his men; they understood everything.

Five

 “At the same time, back at the village, Ramla and Duna sat together around a small fire in the yard of Duna’s house. Duna waited patiently while Ramla meditated, combing the wilderness of time for truth and purpose; for a vision of what would become of us. When she started to talk, Duna stared at her. All of her wrinkles had been ironed out, her face was as smooth as marble, and her eyes showed only white while her pupils gazed in a direction perfectly inconceivable.

“’Olumide has come to the jungle… Sailed here on blood red tides… Like the others… But not… Not like the others… Olumide is our saviour… Devils come to take our land… To take our treasures… Olumide will try to save us…  Olumide will try… But he needs help… We must help him… He needs Malaika … he needs Duna… he needs us… We must protect and help him, so that he will protect and help us… He must not fail, for his successor will be too late…’

“Ramla fell silent then, she swayed back and forth, a chilling wind thrashed through Duna’s yard, and he watched it whip Ramla’s hair around her face as she began to mutter. There were no more words from her then, just mumbling sounds that gradually built into a cough. Ramla began to heave and to sway, she moaned and coughed and Duna knew that something was not right. Before he could climb to his feet, the fire was blown out and Ramla ceased all movement and all noise. She was leaned back, perfectly still, eyes looking up into the stars. Duna touched her shoulder and was surprised to find it stone cold. He had called Daktari urgently, who had been saddened to announce that Ramla had moved into the next world.

‘How old was she?’ Duna asked. ‘You must have known her in her youth?’

‘That is not the case Duna’ replied Daktari, ‘She has always been old. When I was child she appeared exactly as she does now. My father was also a healer, and he told me that Ramla was older than time itself.’ He paused then, looking wistfully at Ramla. ‘What did she tell you?’

‘Enough,’ replied Duna. ‘Enough to know there is a man here among the pale filth by the river. But not a man, he is more than that. He will be our saviour, and we his. We will know exactly how to proceed once Kalisha, Malaika and Kamau return from Baobab.’”

Six

“’My children’ Malaika said in a voice that was not her own. It was a deep voice, huge, almost too loud to understand. The voice rung out through the jungle, bounced off trees and came back to us again. ‘We are in danger of being stripped of all that we value. All sacred things will be taken and sold or destroyed. Olumide has come to help us. He will need the bones of great beasts. You will take him inland to a great clearing at the bottom of Rwenzori where the Elephants go to die. Help him bring the bones back to the river, and in return he will help to make us strong again, and he will teach us how to defend ourselves against our new enemy.’

“Kalisha and Kamau stood at attention, listening intently.

‘This young one who touches me, the one who has been selected as conduit, she must not leave the side of Olumide. She will lead him to lead us, her heart will guide him.’”

Seven

“So that’s how you knew to trust him.” I said.

“Yes.” he replied.

“And that’s how he collected all the ivory.”

“Yes.”

“Was it through him that you acquired your skills in English?”

“I picked it up through listening to him. Observing patterns, associating words. It was not difficult. Of course I really began to excel once I learned to read.”

“You’re an amazing specimen.”

“I object to your use of the word ‘specimen’.”

“It was not meant in a derogatory way, Solomon, I meant an ‘amazing specimen’ of a human being. You are, quite frankly, one of the most brilliant I have come across.”

“Thank you Mr Marlow. I delight in such revelations.”

“Of course,” I felt necessary to add “I’m naturally sceptical about the magic. Even if it does make the story that much more engaging.” At this, he only shrugged, the smallest grin parting his thick lips. He couldn’t care less whether I believed. “One more thing I’m curious about though...  Why did you leave?”

“It was Malaika who told me to sneak onto the steamer. She told me that he couldn’t die alone. She told me she would go herself, but she would surely be found, and that I was more inconspicuous. I held his hand during his last breath.” He stopped then, looked at his shoes, no trace of a grin now. “But that is why I got on the boat, not why I stayed on board.”

Eight

“As Malaika had promised, when the time came to escort Kurtz to Rwenzori, she came for me. Even though I was young she believed I would be an asset to them as they ventured into the jungle. A whole company marched into the wilderness, some pulled huge empty carts with which to fill with ivory. At the front of this parade was Kamau, followed by Malaika, followed by me and Kurtz. Behind us was Tapiwa, and behind him were two of Kurtz’ men.

“We were travelling companions, Kurtz and I. I carried his possessions. He is the one who gave me my name; Solomon. He was quiet for much of it, but sometimes he would speak of completely alien things – concepts and worlds I could not at that time comprehend. I had always been curious; it was my curiosity that had got me to that point. And, you might say it is what has gotten me where I am today. Solely responsible in fact. But it was not mere curiosity that made me leave that place.

“The route we were on took us very close to Baobab. One time, after the camp had been set up and the food was being prepared, Malaika decided she would take Kurtz to see Baobab. She had taken him by the hand, and they were about to sneak off when Kurtz looked back at camp to where I stood, looking back at them. At his insistence I joined them. We approached Baobab and Kurtz went very quiet. We stood there together, the three of us, gazing on at Baobabs majesty in silence. Finally, Kurtz broke the silence.

‘I understand it,’ he muttered to himself, ‘everything is touching. Everything lives, breathes, dies, together. All living things are just separate facets of the whole… All of us, just….’ He stopped then. I know now that he ran out of English words – Baobabs grandeur cannot be shared with the mouth, only with the heart. I stood in front of the mighty tree, but no longer stared at him, as I was transfixed by Kurtz. Baobabs glow made Kurtz’ eyes shine and tears roll down his cheeks, his mouth hung open in awe. He looked so beautiful there in that moment, he had realised an essential truth, experienced true wonder.

“I knew then that there was much more to the world than I could conceive of. Later I would dream of experiencing the wonder I had witnessed in Kurtz. I would yearn for that experience, desperately craving knowledge and enlightenment. I knew that if he could find it in my world, I could find it in his.”

Cast:

*African name (meaning in English) role in the story
*Baobab (the tree of life) avatar of the wilderness
*Cudjo (born on a Monday) narrator – also known as “Solomon”
*Azubuike (has much strength) hunter/protector
*Abrafo (executioner) hunter/protector
*Kamau (quiet warrior) hunter/protector
*Tapiwa (ravager) hunter/protector
*Daktari (healer) healer
*Duna (lord/master) chief
*Kalisha (sorceress) main witch
*Malaika (angel) student witch/Kurtz intended
*Ramla (predictor of the future) wise fortune telling elder
*Olumide (“god has bought me”) The saviour – also known as “Kurtz”
*Marlow (English name) first person narrator in frame story, character in original text. 

General – My re-write is a depiction of Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness told from the opposite end. While, in the original a seaman working for an ivory trading company in East Africa drives his steamer upriver in search of a lost employee of the company who is revered and despised in equal measure from other employees. The re-write follows a young African boy who came to know this lost employee and who tells the story of how and why this English man appeared to have become a part of a local tribe. This is a parallel story of Marlow’s retelling, meaning the same events will or will have occurred, however we will see it from another angle.

The “Darkness” - In Heart of Darkness, Africa, both the people and the environment are portrayed as a kind of “other”, a place and people of darkness. This metaphor is used many times by Marlow. He makes references to the lack of light, to the night time, the colour of the sky.  It works well as a narrative device to show that Marlow is in over his head; however it is also quietly brushes over any notion of culture in the peoples depicted. In my re-write I aimed to return their humanity and as much of their culture as I could without churning out a research report. I’ve put in a lot of effort to avoid using day or night, light or dark as metaphors in this piece. In fact, I’ve put in a lot of effort to avoid it entirely. Cudjo makes almost no mention of day or night, usually only referring to “later” or saying “a new day”. I had hoped this would suggest a better relationship with nature, with less emphasis on these differences it might imply these people can distinguish light and dark as being two sides of the same coin, two halves making a whole, rather than two different concepts existing in conflict with one another. Baobab, the tree of life, exists to give the environment some benevolence, to remove the darkness from the jungle.

Narrative Style – Conrad set Heart of Darkness as a frame narrative, where the main character of the story is actually telling the story in a different setting. I decided to use this format as well, although rather than begin a frame story to introduce the main narrative, I have begun with the main narrative only to drawback and reveal the frame later (Chapter 7). In the original story Kurtz dies and knowing this, we know by chapter six of my story that in his death he will fail to protect the village from what the company decides it will do with it. I wanted to show that Kurtz did do something while he was there; he created Solomon, who would go on to do great things.

Chapter 7 – Chapter seven stands apart from the rest of the story as it is the first to address the frame, and does so most directly. This is the conversation in which the whole narrative takes place. I have opted not to explain the details of time and place of where the conversation happens, but in my mind it is most certainly in England and takes place five to ten years after Kurtz’ death, after Solomon has tracked him down purely out of curiosity. The lack of details in the frame story is to add some enigmatic charm to Cudjo/Solomon’s character, and also so that Kurtz’ legacy (as hinted at in the final paragraph of the story) remains mysterious.

Marlow – In chapter 7 I also hoped to absolve Marlow of his borderline racism in the original text. While I don’t think Marlow was an outwardly racist character, I think he did hold the crippled notion of superiority bred into him by his culture. In addressing Cudjo/Solomon as brilliant, he lets go of any colonial English constructs that apply to him. Obviously, admitting Cudjo/Solomon’s brilliance is a small act, but I feel that it’s redemptive in that it was as much as you could hope for from such a stoic personality; he never made a grand act of anything – it’s simply out of character for him.

Some of the blanks – With my story I hoped to fill in some of the blanks. A couple of those were addressed in chapter seven. These are questions I had after reading Heart of Darkness for the second time: Why did the local people trust Kurtz, why did they see him as godlike? (He was prophesized). Where did he get all the ivory? (Centuries old Elephant graveyard). Who was the African woman? (Malaika, his guide, protector, romantic interest).

A note on names - Cudjo (English name “Solomon”) is the main character here. His actions almost don’t affect the story in any way, but he is the observer, narrator, and he is recounting the story to Marlow. I wanted a name that would mean something in both languages, so I chose Cudjo because it means “born on a Monday” where the name “Solomon” comes from the English nursery rhyme “Solomon Grundy” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon_grundy). It was also important to me for Kurtz to have an African name. Olumide was chosen simply for its meaning, as a way to semi-deify Kurtz. Baobab is the name of a type of tree native to mainland Africa and Madagascar, the branches point to the ground. Some of the legends Cudjo mentions are actually real things I read about the Baobab tree when I was researching it .The rest of the names were chosen based purely on either how the word sounded or what they mean in English compared to what their role in the story was.