The first section in italics is a few lines from the end of the book that I thought were a good way to start this. It is from Angelica's point of view.
Be honest please :)
What will I carry with me?
Besides the unsung songs bursting inside me.
One suitcase. Inside that suitcase;
Theodon’s letters. One mourning gown.
Three day frocks. Undercloths.
A plum-coloured shawl. A hairpin for protection.
A silver hairbrush, comb and mirror.
So little.
In the end, leaving is not so hard as staying.
It will take time to know myself in a new world.
I would trust. My song. My truth.
Dark skin and harsh accent,
With soft hands and warm smiles.
Looked down on but wise in words,
Slave, with a lack of freedom,
She far from home just like I,
With only a few belongings,
Less than what I brought.
She carries a song with her,
Her voice carries as she works,
Singing words strange and magical,
She trusts her own song. Her own truth.
She has a smile,
A comfort when times are hard,
Though her song sings of her home,
The family she has lost,
The freedom she no longer has.
I see them punished,
Harshly in the square,
They carry their heads low,
Their shoulders slummed.
One step out of line,
Is what they fear,
Though fight they do,
For passage back to their home,
Where freedom is what they had.
They carry a song with them,
Their voices carry when they work,
Singing words strange and magical,
They trust their own song. Their own truth.
I may add more. I'm also thinking about changing a few words to either Italian or Spanish, not sure which ones yet.
Hi Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI like that you started the poem off with lines from the end of the book. The use of song is interesting and powerful. There are one or two lines that I think could be more effective if you used show don't tell, for example, how are they being punished harshly in the square? I think using some Spanish or Italian would be a good idea, especially as there are some words in these languages that we do not have words for in English, but I like it as it is.
Going great so far :)
I really like this Sarah! Admittedly I've never been much of a poetry fan, it seems I lack the ability to read between the lines haha. However you've managed to capture a lot in this poem, giving me clear powerful images as I read it. I'm no expert but I think it flows really well too. I particularly like the last line "They trust their own song. Their own truth", it's powerful and nicely conclusive, but still leaves a lingering sense of wonder. Great work!
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